la fe en el poder de mis sueños
I have an interesting problem. Granted, there are much worse problems and more pressing concerns in the world, like Haiti. But this is what is currently on my mind, and related to my overseas adventures.
As you know, I’m currently working on a plan to teach English in Chile. It’s not ideal, but it’s a plan I’m more-or-less content with, I guess you could say. The Chilean school year starts in March, so were I to get a job, I’d probably leave in about 2 months.
Well, my parents are doing this real estate stuff. They recently bought their first property to flip, but it won’t be official for possibly 6 weeks, when they go to the courthouse and do whatever is it they have to do, I don’t know.
Anyway, Mom told me that if their real estate stuff works out, they could pay for Spain for me.
This should be exciting. But I’m a little…not confused, but…in limbo, in a sense.
Chile is more-or-less a sure thing. I’m qualified, and right now is their peak hiring season. Spain, now, is completely dependent on my parents. When I was working, I had some pride in knowing that I was completely financing my dream. Without loans, and without substantial help from anyone. I had a dream, and I was working to make it come true.
But then I lost my job, so I felt I had to change my dream.
Spain is what I want. I want to leave in September. I wanted to take Spanish classes before I went. I wanted to work more on my research, and hopefully finish editing it for publication, and present it at least once (that part I’m doing). And on a personal note, I wanted to lose more weight and grow my hair out. I wanted to take Spain by storm, and I felt I could in September.
Chile is happening now. Without my personal and professional goals being met first. Without me taking a single Spanish class past high school. Like I said, it’s not ideal, but I felt this was where life was taking me, and I didn’t want to stay stagnant. If I wait for my parents, I’d most likely have to say no to Chile, a more-or-less sure thing, to wait on Spain, something not-at-all certain. And then if Spain didn’t work out, what would I do?
I know, I KNOW, this is not a major problem. I’m kinda impressed that I’ve reached the point where this is a problem, as opposed to 2 years ago at this time, I was in the hospital, not sure if I could ever live a normal life, much have realize dreams that I have.
It’s hard for me because in order for me to reach my ultimate dream, I have to give up control. I have to just have faith that everything will work out.