Today I prayed about my future, particularly the more immediate possible going to South America part. I never like to pray, not really. Mainly because I always wish I had more reassurance that it would do any good, or at least that I was heard.
Anecdote though- I prayed about what to do about my friendships last week on Monday or Tuesday morning, at like 7:15am or so, and when I was in the car with my mom on the way to work that morning, she told me how she prays about Raven and I a lot, for our needs and whatnot, so I figured, Hmm, let me see what she has to say about this situation. Could have just been a coincidence, but a welcome one. I need more of those coincidences in my life. My Facebook horoscope said, “You’re facing something big today — and you can’t really avoid it this time! It’s a good day to draw on resources from friends and family in order to get things back into balance.”
I think my main hesitation is that I had a plan for my life that I was really happy with. I wanted myself to be my best possible self before leaving. I wanted to lose more weight, work on my appearance, work on my research, and speak better Spanish before fleeing the country. It’s not that I *can’t* do these things abroad, though. Although I was really hoping my Spanish would have been better before *having* to use it everyday. I’m always nervous when coming up with a new plan, or reworking an old one.